I have a vision!!  A vision of a beautiful holiday table full of yummy deliciousness.  Casseroles, bread, salads, veggies, gravy, potatoes, and turkey.  Sliced CARVED turkey on a platter.  Carved BEFORE it hits the table.  In fact, I want two turkeys sliced up!  Smaller turkeys are more yummy from what I understand.  Two turkeys also means 4 legs and 4 wings for the dark meat lovers – I prefer to disengage any arguments before they happen 🙂

Husband thinks a Godzilla sized turkey plopped down smack in the middle of everything and everyone is the way to go.  I’m having another vision of Chevy Chase standing over a massive turkey and slicing it up.

Typically this would not be an issue.  Did I mention that we have a huge family? Seriously folks, our Thanksgiving will include 20-22 peeps.  The famous Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving print has only 10 people!!

I know he wants this moment, but the show must go on.  Surely he knows me enough by now to not disrupt my visions.  Surely he knows better, right?  RIGHT?!

We can have the typical staged photo ops, but the slicin and dicin will happen before that bird hits the table, people!!

With such a huge crowd anything but turkey on a platter already sliced would be buzzkill.

I’m thinking of the Starbucks line.  I call it the “Time Warp”.  It never moves.  It ceases.  To the point you think Why the hell did I decide to do this.

What did I want again?

Do I really need this ridiculously overpriced non-fat peppermint mocha?

YES. I. DO!

And you stay in that line. Mostly because you can’t leave the line because they way they build Starbucks around here once you’re in you are IN.

And I’m in! I’m so in to slicin’ before the servin’!

We will see who sins this battle.  But just so you know… I do NOT own a roasting dish large enough to handle a massive turkey.  Nor so I plan to buy, borrow or steal one from anyone or anywhere.